Isn’t it crazy just how much brows change a persons face?
I used to have VERY blonde eyebrows. You could barely see them. I literally looked like I had zero brows. I felt extremely self conscious about my face so I decided in 2009 to start penciling them in. Boy was that insane. I thought I looked SO great though. Back then I was 19 at the time and partying was my only hobby. I really felt like I needed to look a certain way to attract the right guy. I was so naive. I was so broken. I was so reliant on other peoples approval. Even though I was very much opinionated and not afraid to express myself I was also sitting at home crying, wishing I had someone to love me thinking if only I had a different face, body, or personality that maybe then my prince charming would come take me away.
The struggle was real for a very long time. I went through so many different types of ways to fill my brows in. I had found only 2 ways I loved and then they discontinued the make up I was using way back in 2010 so then I had to venture out and find a new way to do them. I originally used a light brown pencil. I then moved onto dark brown powder eye shadow. After that I found a brow fill kit in I want to say 2011. I was kind of over powder at that time though because I would also have to wipe the excess under my eye and it was just annoying that I had to do that extra step. I am all about efficiency.
It was taking me around 45 minutes to do my make up in the mornings and I wanted something less extensive. I finally found a brow PEN! My life was made because all I had to do was draw them on. Color matching has always been harder for me since I am a redhead. I went from dark brown to light brown because I felt I looked harsh with such a dark brow. My hair color is a darker red almost auburn so I have always just gone with browns. I honestly had major chola vibes at this point. Not gonna lie. At this stage in my brow journey, I was even keeping my make up on while I slept so it would be less work in the morning plus I was seeing someone and I didn’t want him to see my naked mole rat face. There was so much I didn’t see in myself back then.
I started looking into microblading in 2018 because I was done. I was over the time it took to do my make up. I still hadn’t embraced my natural beauty. I thought how could my natural beauty be anything special. I was married with a daughter by now and I was still too self conscious to just be me. Then, I started thinking what am I teaching my daughter? To make sure her face looks great 24/7? That she can’t be herself because society has a certain standard? It was a realization I had to come to before really accepting myself. I needed to ACCEPT MYSELF. Who cares what others think about my face. My husband would tell me all the time how beautiful I was without my make up on.
Eventually, after setting some money aside, I mustered up the courage to go see a microblading specialist. It was a goal I had in mind for a very long time. I planned out how much I needed to save per month and I achieved this goal because I wanted this so badly. I had followed Katie on instagram for about 6 months before making my appointment. I was so excited to finally be free. I was excited to finally not have to do my make up if I didn’t want to. When arrived to my appointment she told me her name was Jessica. I had been following a woman named Katie. It didn’t register until my appointment was over and I saw the damage.
To say I was enraged would be putting it lightly. I was sad, frustrated, angry, and most of all my self esteem was shot. I was so brutally heartbroken by the outcome of what was supposed to be my life altering microblading appointment. How could I have done this? I had read about horror stories because I wanted to make sure I didn’t get in one of those situations. I thought I was prepared. I thought I had done my research and chosen the perfect person to do the job. I had made my appointment with the wrong person and I felt so ridiculous. I was just so excited to get this service done that I didn’t even realize I went to the wrong person. Microblading was just becoming popular when I had my first appointment and everyone was telling me how brave I was. I was talking about how I was going to be so low maintenance after this. I was STILL concerned with my outer appearance and the approval of society.
I ended up making an appointment with the real Katie about a month after the first horrific experience I had gone through. Katie was so personable right off the bat. She had been an RN before starting her microblading training and she told me all that she wanted to do was make people feel beautiful. There are so many people out there in my situation but with very different circumstances. There are burn victims that want to reconstruct their brows, cancer patients who want to just look like everyone else, and older women who have had hair loss and just want to feel attractive again. She even does microblading on men! Regardless of the reasoning behind wanting to do microblading it is a very important decision to make considering its basically a tattoo on your face. Even though its semi-permanent, it’s still going to be there for a while. Katie transformed my brows into something manageable and I was going to have to go see her a few times to correct them completely. I have been on my brow game now for over a decade so whats another couple of years… After my first appointment, I could already see a significant difference.
Her way is the best way. I felt the most beautiful I ever have. I didn’t feel the need to fill them in anymore. I saw my face without any make up and I felt beautiful. I would still fill them in if I was going somewhere with a bunch of people because I felt like I had to. Everyone knew me with these dark brown brows that were always on point. How could I just stop filling them in.
I ended up seeing Katie a total of 4 times before reaching my goal of complete satisfaction. I now know that beauty is within and I don’t need make up. Sometimes I like to put make up on to enhance the beauty I already have but other than the occasional mascara I don’t do ANYTHING. Its such a relief to not feel the need to “put my face on” everyday. Yes, I have enhanced brows and I have to do a touch up every year to maintain them not because I have to but because I WANT to. I feel good about myself now without trying to seek approval within society. Now, I love me.
I would love myself even if I was still brow-less. I have gone through many other things during this brow journey that has made me see myself in a different light. Positive self-talk and realizing I am a badass happened along with self reflection and hiring a lifestyle transformation coach. I checked in with myself and asked myself really important questions like, do I care what others think of me? My answer was no.